365 days ~ 180 degrees

The other day I was pleasantly surprised by a lightness in my spirit and a bounce in my step. I caught myself thinking, "2009 - it's gonna be a good year."

Then I thought back to just a bit over a year ago and vividly remembered how differently I felt at the time.

It was December 2007. I was so weary of Jim being in Muskegon - a 150 mile drive each way every time I wanted to visit.
So tired... how long could I keep it up?

...and then he got moved.

Closer to home?

oh no - transferred to Kinross - twice as far - 300 miles from my door to his.
I can't do it - that's what I thought - I just can't do it.


Thank God for my wonderful siblings.
We were all together in Mio anyhow, so surrounded and strengthened by all of them, we made the journey together to see Jim.


Even so, it was really awful. I was just so depressed and kept thinking, "I can't do this anymore."
Dark days...

Then in January it got worse.
My beloved brother-in-love Roger died suddenly. Perhaps even more difficult than his death was having to see Marge and their daughters go through such pain.
So hard...

Darker days...

There's a song by Sarah Groves that I love called "Less Like Scars". Some of the lyrics are:

It's been a hard year, but I'm climbing out of the rubble...
I feel you here and you're picking up the
pieces...
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation,
but You are able...

Well a year has passed and

1. I've found the strength to make the long trips to Kinross
2. Marge and the girls are moving through life with God's strength
3. and I have been pleasantly surprised by that bouyancy I felt just a day or so ago.

I'm reminded of another "song".
This one a bit older than what Sara Groves wrote.
Psalm 40ish is one that I always come back to

year after year,

crisis after crisis,

discouragement upon discouragement.

It says...

Why are you so downcast and why is your spirit disturbed within you?
Hope in God because you know you are going to praise Him again!

and back to Sara's song...

Just a little while ago I couldn't feel the power or the hope - I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing

Just a little while back I was desperate,
broken, laid out, hoping You would come

Oh He came of course (was there all the time) and once again turned me around 180 degrees and set me steadfastly facing the future once again.

...hope in God, we will definitely praise Him again.

Yup, 2009... it's gonna be a good year.